queefilicious:

sharing an umbrella with someone seems cute but in practice it is 100% horrible and you both end up getting angry and wet

245
  • Satan: [appears]
  • Satan: You can have anything you wan--
  • Me: LANGUAGE.
  • Satan: What?
  • Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
  • Satan: What the--?
  • Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
  • Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
  • Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.
  • "I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy
    because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless
    and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that."
    Robin Williams (via seyttan)
    "Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now."
     Eckhart Tolle (via tellmefive)
    "

    There is nothing prettier than a city at 5 AM with its empty streets and cold wind

    "
    (via gebeine)

    one-after-nineonine:

    i did a push up why am i still fat

    "a person’s a person no matter how small"
    Dr. Seuss, a pro-choice advocate who publicly donated to Planned Parenthood and actively sued pro-life organizations for using this as a slogan. Stop using this to justify your bullshit pro-life ideals. Not even the original author of the phrase agrees with you.  (via celestialfucker)
    Venus Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto

    pzychedelicious:

    whismical:

    i ignored your aura but it grabbed me by the hand, like the moon pulled the tide, and the tide pulled the sand.